The Psychology of Emotion
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ONE is apt to think of the emotions as
independent from habit. We easily may think of one acquiring habits of action,
and even of thinking, but we are apt to regard the emotions as something
connected with “feeling” and quite divorced from intellectual effort. Yet, not
withstanding the distinction between the two, both are dependent largely upon
habit, and one may repress, increase, develop, and change one’s emotions, just
as one may regulate habits of action and lines of thought.
It is an axiom of psychology that “Emotions
deepen by repetition.” If a person allows a state of feeling to thoroughly
take possession of him, he will find it easier to yield to the same emotion the
second time, and so on, until the particular emotion or feeling becomes second
nature to him. If an undesirable emotion shows itself inclined to take up a
permanent abode with you, you had better start to work to get rid of it, or at
least to master it. And the best time to do this is at the start; for each
repetition renders the habit more firmly entrenched, and the task of dislodging
it more difficult.
Were you ever jealous? If so, you will remember
how insidious was its first approach; how subtly it whispered hateful
suggestions into your willing ear, and how gradually it followed up such
suggestions, until, finally you began to see green. (Jealousy has an effect
upon the bile, and causes it to poison the blood. This is why the idea of green
is always associated with it.) Then you will remember how the thing seemed to
grow, taking possession of you until you scarcely could shake it off. You found
it much easier to become jealous the next time. It seemed to bring before you
all sorts of objects apparently justifying your suspicions and feeling.
Everything began to look green - the green-eyed monster waxed fat.
And so it is with every feeling or emotion. If
you give way to a fit of rage, you will find it easier to become angry the next
time, on less provocation. The habit of feeling and acting “mean” does not take
long to firmly settle itself in its new home if encouraged. Worry is a great
habit for growing and waxing fat. People start by worrying about big things,
and then begin to worry and fret about some smaller thing. And then the merest
trifle worries and distresses them. They imagine that all sorts of evil things
are about to befall them. If they start on a journey they are certain there is
going to be a wreck. If a telegram comes, it is sure to contain some dreadful
tidings. If a child seems a little quiet, the worrying mother is positive it
is going to fall ill and die. If the husband
seems thoughtful, as he revolves some business plan in his mind, then the good
wife is convinced that he is beginning to cease to love her, and indulges in a
crying spell. And so it goes - worry, worry, worry - each indulgence making the
habit more at home. After a while the continued thought shows itself in
action. Not only is the mind poisoned by the blue thoughts, but the forehead
shows deep lines between the eyebrows, and the voice takes on that whining,
rasping tone so common among worry-burdened people.
The condition of mind known as “fault-finding”
is another emotion that grows fat with exercise. First, fault is found with
this thing, then with that, and finally with everything. The person becomes a
chronic “nagger” - a burden to friends and relatives, and a thing to be
avoided by outsiders. Women make the greatest naggers. Not because men are any
better, but simply because a man nagger apt to have the habit knocked out of
him by other men who will not stand his nonsense - he find that he is making
things too hot for himself and he reforms; while a woman has more of a chance
to indulge in the habit. But this nagging is all a matter of habit. It grows
from small beginnings, and each time it is indulged in it throws out another
root, branch, or tendril, and fastens itself the closer to the one who has
given it soil in which to grow.
Envy, uncharitableness, gossip
scandal-mongering, are all habits of this kind. The seeds are in every human
breast, and only need good soil and a little watering to become lusty and
strong.
Each time you give way to one of these negative
emotions, the easier do you make it for a recurrence of the same thing, or
similar ones. Sometimes by encouraging one unworthy emotion, you find that you
have given room for the growth of a whole family of these mental weeds.
Now, this is not a good old orthodox preachment
against the sin of bad thoughts. It is merely a calling of your attention to
the law underlying the psychology of emotion. Nothing new about it - old as the
hills - so old that many of us have forgotten all about it.
If you wish to manifest these constantly
disagreeable and unpleasant traits, and to suffer the unhappiness that comes
from them, by all means do so - that is your own business, and privilege. It’s
none of mine, and I am not preaching at you - it keeps me busy minding my own business
and keeping an eye on my own undesirable habits and actions. I am merely
telling you the law regarding the matter, and you may do the rest. If you wish
to choke out these habits, there are two ways open to you. First, whenever you
find yourself indulging in a negative thought or feeling, take right hold of it
and say to it firmly, and vigorously, “Get out!” It won’t
like this at first, and will bridle up, curve
its back and snarl like an offended cat. But never mind - just say, “Scat” to
it. The next time it will not be so confident and aggressive - it will have
manifested a little of the fear-habit. Each time you repress and choke out a
tendency of this kind, the weaker it will become, and the stronger will your
will be.
Professor James says: “Refuse to express a
passion, and it dies. Count ten before venting your anger, and its occasion
seems ridiculous. Whistling to keep up courage is no mere figure of speech. On
the other hand, sit all day in a moping posture, sigh, and reply to everything
with a dismal voice, and your melancholy lingers. There is no more valuable
precept in moral education than this, as all who have experience know: if we
wish to conquer emotional tendencies in ourselves, we must assiduously, and in
the first instance, cold-bloodedly, go through the outward movements of those
contrary dispositions we prefer to cultivate.
Smooth the brow, brighten the eye, contract the
dorsal rather than the ventral aspect of the frame, and speak in a major key,
pass the genial compliment, and your heart must be frigid indeed if it does not
gradually thaw.
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