MARRIED LIFE, as has been said, is the most extensive and most numerous institution in the world. For this reason it should be made the basis of the greatest uses of personal magnetism. Centuries ago when wives did not often leave their husbands, they were not held to marriage by love any more than today, but by compulsion. There are some nations and peoples even in these times that require the death of the wife as the necessary fulfilment of her marriage vows in case her husband should die. Gradually going backward in time in our own history we drift to the same tendency in spirit at least; and the placing of the woman on the same level of freedom with the husband today is the newest phase of human progress.

This equality and perfect freedom of the sexes are gradually changing all the old standards of marriage. Wives may now work in offices and places of business, and support themselves if they so choose; and in the large cities the ties of wedlock are so very thin and attenuated that a wife is at liberty to associate in almost any way she pleases with the husband of some other woman. The result of this ultra freedom is that almost all marriages are either falling apart, or the parties drift away by the law of counter attractions. Years ago the motive for marriage was the desire of the wife for a home and support, and the wish of the man for a housekeeper. Now the woman is able to support herself, and the man finds that his wife is not willing to cook or keen house, or manage his home for him.

No other magnet is active in bringing men and women together except the sexual appetite; and even high school girls and boys are rapidly learning that this magnet need not lead to wedlock

The question then arises, why should a man and woman marry One other magnet remains, and that is what is called love. But as it is an emotion that is born of an illusion as to the super-wonders of the party who is loved, as soon as this illusion vanishes, love flees, especially in this age of freedom, equality of the sexes, and easy divorce. Of every one hundred marriages, not more than two remain love-marriages, even where the couples live together. The question still pursues us, why marry?

The answer is: Do not allow the illusion to vanish.

Of what is the illusion composed? Take the case of the man who has been placed on a high pedestal during courtship, because his fiancee believes him to be what he has seemed to her to be. She was led to believe that he was neat, clean, attractive in body and mind, and of good disposition. These are not impractical dreams; for they might have been what they purported to be. What poorer investment is there in wedlock than the easy readiness to cast off neatness, cleanliness, physical attractiveness mental attractiveness and a winning disposition? The husband may not think it matters much that he has not visited a dentist for months, that his teeth are decaying and give out a terribly offensive odor, that they are infected at the roots by ulcers that poison the blood, and that his tonsils are emitting pus that flows forward in the mouth and lubricates his kisses. It is said by dentists that nine in every ten men who are married to refined women are afflicted in the manner just stated. How can it be possible that women retain any love or even respect for such husbands? The woman is equally guilty, but not in so large a number of cases.

Then comes the bad breath odor that attends men and women who are suffering from intestinal poisoning; which malady causes all catarrhs and all forms of body odor. Nor is the bath tub visited often enough. Neglect in dressing and in personal refinement plays a large part in the losing of love.

Men and women were not made equal in the sense of being like each other in qualities and attributes. The man who is mentally virile and morally upright, is the best ideal; and the woman who is morally upright and mentally beautiful is the best ideal in her sex. Masculinity in women is not Nature. By birth sne is a creature of refinement, daintiness, purity and sweetness; and only her hard struggles in life or her inherent wantonness can estrange her from these qualities. The husband who maintains his status as virile and upright, is never likely to lose the love of his wife if she is normal morally; provided he gives due attention to the matters we have discussed on the previous page. The wife who maintains her status as refined, dainty, pure and sweet, who cultivates a beautiful mind and is morally upright, is secure in her husband's love, provided she gives attention to the matters to which we have referred.

But magnetism includes an exchange of Values in marriage; and these are not appeals to the Appetites. One Patrician Value on the part of the wife requires that she shall retain her place in Nature in all respects. Another Value of this order is her willingness to prove a real helpmate to her husband; to offer him her aid in all things; and to be a real partner in the contract. He should never leave the home mornings without having laid aside all selfishness, all disinclination to assist her in her duties, all hasty disregard of the things that interest her. Mutual interests are Values, and these should be interchanged. The least little thing that absorbs the attention of the wife should not be too small to attract the attention of the husband. Mutual consultations are useful. When he comes to the home at noon or especially at the close of the day, her work should be his work; her weariness should be lifted by his assistance, for it is gross selfishness on his part to lounge around reading a paper that yields him no mental value, while she plods through the evening finishing her work.

The best test of magnetism and continued interest is the readiness of husband and wife to devote their spare time to each other; or, if to others, then in each other's companionship. We know of a couple who were married fifty years and who in all that time were never separated any evening. They had all the pleasures of society, friends, parties, theatre, opera, travel and vacations; but never found it necessary to spend any evening or night apart. And they were supremely happy. Loyalty in marriage is a Patrician Value. It is magnetic. It also stands as the noblest of virtues. If a man must bum around nights after marriage, he should have remained single. Affiliations between men and men who are not married are antagonistic to those higher affiliations that should exist between husband and wife. The moment a married woman forms a close personal and confidential friendship with some other woman, with her husband in the back ground of her affection, she becomes disloyal to him.

Husband and wife should be good friends with each other, perpetual associates, steady pals, with openness of mind and exchange of confidence, making all their plans together, hunting in each other's thoughts for the themes that are dominant and the interests that are most alive; never saying or doing anything that shall in the least hurt the feelings of the other; never taking umbrage at any remark or incident; forgiving freely; yielding gracefully; refusing to antagonize; never becoming morose, silent or stubbornly diffident; cultivating sympathy, brightness, hopefulness and optimism under all circumstances; and forming the mental determination to place loyalty to each other above all other considerations in life. There have been such marriages; and they have been magnetic; they have been blessed in the highest degree; and have served as stepping stones through the journey of earthly existence, on, on to a world of unending rewards.

The first two pages of this lesson teach matters that cannot be neglected; for even if all the finer qualities exist, and then-are evidences of the presence of the coarser ones, the latter will submerge the former.

In the preceding paragraph we have mentioned a phase of personal magnetism called mental determination; and, as this is the key to all accomplishment in life, we will devote the next lesson to its consideration.

In bringing the present theme to a close we will recall the old saying that a chain is no stronger than its weakest link. Whether in marriage, or in other forms of human association, if there is a weak link in the character of the individual, the whole structure is likely to fall. Thus if either husband or wife exhibit a single serious fault, the illusion may vanish in a flash. The prevention of this disaster may be secured by forming the mental habit of self-study at all times. This is the most valuable asset in the life of any person.